Once Upon A Musical
by Scarlet Phlame
Summary: Once Upon A Time, every fairytale character is cursed... they can only sing and rap lines for an entire day! In which Henry is a hyper rapper and Cora is a pegasister for My Little Pony. And Gold might be high on Red Bull. Maybe. Once upon a time's long-awaited musical episode... at last! ONESHOT. Posted for my OUaT contest.


_**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the show Once Upon A Time, but I do, however, own the song lyrics to this piece, save for a tiny piece of "Defying Gravity". I do not own Wicked, either. So please don't sue me.**_

_**This is written for my contest which goes by the name of "Much Ado About Prompts". The rules and such can be found here;**_

_**wwwdotfanfictiondotnet/topic/131721/85117254/1/Con test-1A-Much-Ado-About-Prompts**_

_**Replace "dot" with "." and remove the space in-between "Con test".**_

_**Thank you, and enjoy!**_

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Ruby frowned disdainfully at the stain on the counter. It had been there for as long as she could remember. She sighed, trying to move on, but... for some reason today... she felt like... singing. Singing!

"No! The stain is still there, sitting on the counter, it bothers me, I want to run my hands through my hair! Why, oh why doesn't it go AWAY!" Her hand flew up to her mouth, and she gasped. She didn't know she could hit that E5 on the "away", and she also didn't know where the whole singing thing had come from.

"Do I need a session with Archie? I plead and plead, please don't be hard on me," she sang. 'Yep,' she thought, 'definitely need a session.'

"Agh!" Archie yelled as a tiny purple box tumbled to the floor in a booth nearby. Ruby watched as Henry taunted Archie with his storybook.

"First the box, now the book! Give that back, it's mine, you crook!" he sang as a random civilian- er, peasant, snatched the box away from him.

"Nah, nah, nah, nah," Henry rapped.

"I want my box back right now! I need that book, gimme, or you'll be cooked!"

"I couldn't care less," the peasant sang back, "but I will if you happen to perform for me in a tutu or a dress!" Archie appeared to contemplate this for a moment.

"You sing really bad, I'm sure everyone would be glad, if you went and... um... died in a hole!"

"Go lick a frozen pole!" The man snapped back, before tossing the box on the table.

"Here, here, here ya go," Henry rapped. "I don't need the book, I got my pencil and pad- HEY! But don't you worry, not a doubt, I'll be back, I'm not cray cray at all, so see ya guys in a flash!" Henry rapped, before giving Archie his book and casually walking out the door as if he had not just morphed into a temporary Eminem.

"I am HERE YOU CRAZY PEASANTS!" Regina sang as she approached the room. "I will kill you all! You may be standing tall, but I promise you will FALL!"

'Wow, I didn't know she was a soprano,' Ruby thought. 'But she does sound good.'

"Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah," rapped the off-screen Evil Regals.

"So don't give me glares behind my back, or I'll send you off a cliff with a flick and a FLACK and you won't be ever coming back!" she continued to sing, sustaining the "back" for a moment.

"Madame Mayor, you may think you own this town, but one way or another, I'm bringing you DOOOOOOWN!" Emma rapped.

"That's what she said," a fellow off-screen SwanQueen shipper whispered to her friend.

"You aren't the boss of me, sooner or later you'll see, I'm awesome!" Emma rapped.

"That doesn't rhyme, so stop with your singing, Regina is MINE!" Snow sang from the corner of the shop.

'Snow sounds good, but I didn't think she would sing Broadway. And where are all these people coming from?' Ruby wondered in her head, her face looking similar to "o_O".

"Honey bunch, I love you a ton, but you gotta know, I ain't rapping at Regina, God knows that ain't no fun," Charming sang with a Western accent. He wore a cowboy cap, and several Once Snowing shippers fainted when he whipped his jacket off.

'Interesting... Charming sings country. Typical,' Ruby thought. 'But I wonder where the rap came from.'

"Yo, my name is Mr. Gold, I own this town, and tonight-"

"TONIGHT I AM BRINGING YOU DOOOOOWN!" Regina yelled. "You've been acting like a clown, thinking you just... own this town! But I swear I'll bring you down!"

"No, tonight I'm bringing you down!" Emma rapped, her tone sounding smug, although she looked pissed that Regina had stolen her line.

"Actually, I do own this town." Gold sang, suddenly switching to Broadway-style. "And you won't ever bring MEEEE DOOWWN! BRING MEEEE DOOOOWN! AAAA-"

"Stop it! That's my line!" Elphaba shrieked. "And it's also plagiarized!"

"I used to like pink, until hair clogged my kitchen sink," Jefferson sang in an operatic voice.

'That doesn't even make sense,' Ruby thought to herself.

'It's not supposed to,' Jefferson thought back.

'What the hell? What are you doing in my thoughts?' Ruby thought, her face going pale. Come to think of it, she couldn't even see Jefferson anywhere in the crowded diner.

'Hehehe. I'm here, there, everywhere, in the ground and in the air!'

'How can you be in the ground?' Ruby thought curiously. 'Wouldn't that mean you spend time sitting in holes all day?'

'Shut up!' Jefferson snapped back.

"I love ponies, hey, y'all, you wanna see my bronies, I grew 'em tall!" Cora rapped.

'There are a lot of rappers in this story,' Ruby thought anxiously.

"Yo, Cora, I ain't a brony, I don't know what those are, if you don't stop with your antics I'll put you in a spaceship and send you to the stars!" Hook finished, sending a glare in Cora's direction.

"I killed Cora, but now she's back, we're living in a corny village with magic so why not bring her back!" Snow sang so high that the windows winced and almost cracked. Almost. (There can't be any crack in a crack fic, after all.)

"Hey guys, yo, I'm back, and now I brought my homies-"

"Hey, Emma, can we have a snack?" Grace asked, cutting off Henry, and reaching out for Emma's bag of Skittles.

"My Skittles, screw you all! If you get near me, you'll spend a night locked up in the town HAAAAAALL!"

"I just wanted snacks," Grace mumbled.

"What a load of crap," Henry rapped back.

"Hey, that rhymes!" the writer of the crappy Fanfiction thought.

"Shut up and finish the story!" the readers yelled back.

THE END

"Don't finish it like THAT!"

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_**Lol, total crack, but I hope you guys enjoyed! Send some love to the other writers for the contest (monytheotaku and Fabala Throp) and be sure, as always, to R&R! If you do, I swear you'll go far!**_

_**...Yep. I better stop with the rhyming now.**_


End file.
